News

Christmas Crafts (+ a Little Poem)

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

Cleaning puke out of the tub

The 11 month old trying to climb into the dryer

The children’s bedroom wafting with Vix Vapour rub

A turkey and all the cheeses

Glitter and announcements from No. 10

The baby chewing on the little Lord Jesus

When will life be normal again?

Antibiotics and Calpol too

Raided advent calendars and choking danger

Sweet Moses, not another poo

Check the baby’s mouth, there’s an empty manger

Feeling overwhelmed but reminding ourselves this is just a phase

From us and our motley crew

Although it's been said many times, many ways

Merry Christmas to you

I’m writing this surrounded by wrapping paper and ribbons and scissors and cards that need to be written. It all sounds very cosy and if I were in a Christmas film I’d be wearing a cream oversized jumper with leggings and Christmas socks and the most perfect messy bun you’ve ever seen. But as it stands, I’m currently rocking a jumper that is a smorgasbord of my son’s meals throughout the day and a glistening snail trail of H’s snot. Fancy.

I am feeling very overwhelmed. Littlest J and H both have chest infections. Neither of them is very good at expelling the diseased contents of their lungs and as a result, their bodies go all out (tis the season) and empty their stomachs as well as their lungs. H managed to throw up in her bed and then again in her brother’s bed even with a bowl right next to her. Nothing strengthens a marriage quite like cleaning up puke in the dark.

Feeling festive yet?

I just felt like I needed to set the scene as to where we are at at the moment. It’s no Hallmark film. In between feverish chills and worryingly long naps (the children…not me), we have managed to create a Christmas craft or two. I had a completely different picture in my head of what I thought this Christmas was going to look like but as parenthood has taught me, you’ve got to be flexible. So here are three quick and easy Christmas crafts to do in between the turkey eating and Elf watching.

Christmas bauble suncatcher

My go-to craft. Those of you who have read my blog posts will know that I love a contact-paper collage. They’re my favourite way to do collage with little people and I love the finished product.

You’ll need:

• Contact paper
• Cut up tissue paper in an assortment of colours
• Black card
• Pencil
• Scissors

Cut your contact paper into two equal size pieces and lay one piece aside for later. Carefully remove the paper from the sticky side of the contact paper and place it on a flat surface. Secure the sides with washi tape or sticky tape. Cut out a bauble frame and place it on the contact paper. Present your littles with the cut up tissue paper and let them loose. Once they’re happy with their creation, take the other piece of contact paper, remove the backing and carefully lay it on top of the collage piece. Cut any excess contact paper off, use a hole punch to make a hole at the top of the bauble, and hang your suncatcher in the window or on your Christmas tree.

Caught in a snow globe

While you have the contact paper out, you may as well make the most of it. For this craft, you will need:

• Contact paper
• A photo of your Little
• Black or coloured card
• Pencil
• Scissors
• Snowflake confetti

Just like you did with the suncatcher, lay your contact paper carefully on the table. Cut out a circular frame from your card and then place it on the contact paper. You can either use any photo you have of your little or make an activity of it and get them to pose in a variety of wintery outfits – whatever lights your Christmas pudding. Carefully cut out your child and place the cutout on the contact paper within the frame.

Let your Little decorate with the snowflake confetti (and whatever else they want to add) and then carefully place the other piece of contact paper over the top and cut off any excess paper. Create a snow globe stand using the card and display!

We didn’t have any snow confetti so we used stars instead. I had to deal with Littlest J terrorising the Nativity Scene and yeeting the Angel over his shoulder for the 500^th time in an hour and H made the most of this time adding whatever she could find to our globe. Not entirely what I envisioned, but the girl had fun.

Pipe cleaner snowflakes

H loves a threading activity and I like it when the activity has some kind of specific outcome so this worked well for us both. For this craft, you will need:

• Pipe cleaners (duh)
• Beads
• Scissors

You can use any colour pipe cleaners and beads you like but I tried to stick with icy blues and silvers. Cut a long pipe cleaner into 3 equal size pieces and wrap two of the pieces around the other one so that you end up with a six-sided star shape. Thread beads onto the arms (?) of your snowflake and when you’re satisfied, cut a pipe cleaner into 3cm (roughly) segments and wrap these around the tops of each arm to complete your snowflake shape. Use your snowflake as a tree decoration or card topper or as part of your present wrapping.

When I find the energy and the antibiotics have kicked in, we will be attempting stained-glass window biscuits (worth a Google) and the construction and decorating of a gingerbread house – what could go wrong? Until then, I will spend the days leading up to Christmas saving Baby Jesus and his stable guests from the giant mitts of Littlest J and celebrating my return to dairy by eating every kind of cheese. As always, I’d love to see your creations so drop me a message on Instagram. I wish you a very merry (and peaceful) Christmas and happy new year.

Stace x

Reunited.

Reunited and it feels so good. After two years, I was finally reunited with my wonderful parents and they got to meet Baby J for the first time.

You know the opening scene of Love Actually where Hugh Grant talks about the happiness and love found at Heathrow’s Arrivals? Well, I feel like we could have been part of that opening montage. Two years. That’s a crazy long time. The last time we saw each other, H had just turned 1 and couldn’t even walk yet. She is now 3 (quick maths) and ran straight into her Grandpa’s arms. I ugly cried and didn’t care.

If you like, you can see a little montag I put together of our reunion @bornforblueskies. 

They were here for just two weeks, but their timing could not have been more perfect. We had originally talked about them coming over for Christmas and staying for New Year’s and Baby J’s first birthday (insert crying emoji face here), but thankfully their impatience meant that they arrived in mid-November which resulted in them just missing South Africa being placed back on the red list. In fact, their flight home was cancelled and they had to rebook with a different airline. We were the lucky ones.

My heart breaks for the many thousands of South Africans whose flights were cancelled, Christmases ruined, and long-awaited reunions yet again postponed.

My parents had asked to do nothing touristy but rather to just be included in our day-to-day lives. I wasn’t sure that they would be satisfied with school-runs and ballet lessons but they loved it.

Everyone always talks about how a woman changes after having a baby, how a man changes, but no one prepared me for the very great honour of watching my parents become grandparents. While I’ve seen them in this role during previous visits, this one in particular really amplified their roles as Granny and Grandpa. I feel as if my heart grew seven times in size with every “Run, Grandpa, run!” and “Play with me, Granny!”. To see their love for our children shine out of their faces and overflow in hugs and cuddles filled my bucket all the way to the top. To have them confirm our beliefs that our offspring are amazing and to have their support and encouragement in our parenting meant the world to us.

The house feels so empty without them here. Our dramatic H has been wondering around forlornly with her head hanging. When asked what’s wrong, she replies with a sniff “I’ve lost my Granny and my Grandpa."

Being a long-distant grandparent can be so hard and with so many families being separated geographically, I thought it would be helpful to get a few tips from my parents on how to ease the ache of being apart.

1. Have a set time to talk.

Sunday afternoon tends to be the time that we video chat. Knowing that we have that time set aside gives us a sense of anticipation and becomes something that we look forward to. The children also know that Sunday afternoon means seeing Granny and Grandpa (and their dog Mia) and I think it’s so important to maintain that communication even if 38% of the call is spent watching Mia swimming. We are so fortunate in this day and age to have the ability to make video calls and to see each other this way – make the most of it. 

2. Videos of the children.

Your friends might not be interested in the video of your 11 month old babbling unintelligibly or your 9 year old’s first attempt at film-making (all 7 minutes of him screaming Blair Witch style around the garden with the camera angled up his nose), but the grandparents will be. It allows them to be part of family outings or occasions or the day-to-day which is so important. It gives them something to talk about during our Sunday afternoon chats and keeps them up-to-date on what is going on in our lives.

3. Make videos for the children.

It turns out that grandchildren enjoy receiving videos as much as their grandparents. My parents are so good at this and it has allowed our children to get a glimpse of life in South Africa. One of my favourite memories is when Biggest J asked my mom if she could please give them all a virtual tour of their house. I had never thought of giving our children a tour of my childhood home but in the same way that grandparents are curious about their grandchildren’s lives so too are grandchildren about their grandparents’ lives. We have received videos from the Karoo, from various nature reserves, videos including Mia swimming, videos of a swarm of locusts – all of which the children have loved and talked about.

4. Take the time for updates.

As I have already mentioned, we are so fortunate to have a number of technologies at our disposal – use them. Send photos (I am told that there is no such thing as too many). I currently have close to 50,000 photos on my phone (yeah…I know…it’s a problem. I don’t want to talk about it) and 49,000 of those are of our children. Part of the reason is that our children are just that stinking cute, but I’ve also gotten into a habit of taking photos to send to the grandparents. A short message is also an option. I sometimes forget what I’ve said during a Sunday chat and then get a message on the Tuesday asking how baby J’s allergies are or how Big J’s swimming lesson went. A quick text can go a long way.

Make the time to connect with your parents. Give your children opportunities to spend time with their grandparents even if it is via FaceTime. H ran straight into the arms of her Grandpa and Granny because she knew them even from 8000 miles away. Give your children the gift of knowing their grandparents because as someone once said “A Grandparent is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend."

If you want to connect with me, add me on instagram @bornforblueskies.

Until next time,

Stace x

I’ve been writing this blog for a little while now and thought that it was time for an introduction. So, hello. My name is Stacey. I can’t stand luke-warm tea, I love beautiful stationary, I’m a recovering people-pleaser, I collect notebooks, I can sing I’m a Little Teapot in Zulu, I struggle to set boundaries, I had a close encounter with a hippo when I was a baby, I hate conflict, I struggle to make decisions and I love cheese (all of it). Nice to meet you.

I was born and raised in the hills of Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa. My childhood was something special. I lived in the same house from the age of 3 until the March before my 21^st birthday. My summers were spent in our swimming pool or tubing down the river that ran through our small, rural town. I’m not sure that anything could be as delicious as the freedom of a six week summer holiday that went by in a blur of bike rides, picnics, dam days, and the sweet anticipation of the arrival of the cousins. Our holidays involved camping in some of South Africa’s most beautiful locations, hiking in the Drakensberg or waking up in the dark with a flask of hot tea and tin of rusks for an early morning game drive. It was magnificent.

Unlike my older brother who knew exactly what he wanted to do from a young age, I flitted between professions – dancer, dolphin trainer, actress, marine biologist – my options were somewhat varied. When it came time to make a decision about what I wanted to do, I chose to ignore my English teacher’s comments about my writing being a little on the dramatic side and decided to pursue a degree in media and journalism. Having completed my degree, I found myself living in England (a very long story that I will gladly share over a bottle of gin) and came to the scary realisation that I wasn’t entirely sure I actually wanted to pursue any of the careers that my degree had prepared me for. I tried my hand at “Sales and Marketing” which lasted a whole 6 hours and saw me sell one measly bottle of whiskey. I dabbled in insurance for a bit and then was given the opportunity to work in a small school. The rest, as they say, is history.

I had found my thing. Admittedly, I wasn’t so sure at first but I realised that I had a knack for it. I loved working with children (not so different to dolphin training) and found the whole thing so rewarding that I decided to complete my PGCE and become a qualified teacher. 7 years, 1 divorce (pass the gin) and 2 babies later, and now I am a stay-at-home mom with an ever-increasingly concerning addiction to coffee and granola who dabbles in blog-writing and Pinterest projects. I started this blog as a means of reflection and as a record of this weird journey that parenthood takes us on.

Along the way, I have found my person and together we have four children – two pre-made and two that we have gone halvsies on. Biggest J is 9, Big J is 5, Little H is 3, and Littlest J is nearly 11 months. Some days, we smash this parenting lark. Other days we suck. We are learning and growing as we go. I am figuring out how to be a stepmom and a mom-mom. We’re figuring out how to function on minimal sleep and be the parents that we need to be. How to keep the romance alive whilst fishing beads out of the 3 year old’s nose or mopping up puddles of sick at 2 in the morning. We’re doing the best that we can and we’re learning to be ok with ourselves when being the best we can be isn’t possible. My story is a messy one, but the best ones often are. I am so happy that you have decided to join me.

As always, please feel free to drop me a line on instagram @bornforblueskies.

Until next week,

Stace x

Albert Einstein said that “Play is the highest form of research”. The psychologist Vygotsky said that “A child’s play is not simply a reproduction of what he has experienced, but a creative reworking of the impressions he has required”. Mr Rogers said of play that it “…gives children a chance to practice what they are learning”. It’s no secret then that play is essential for learning, indeed play is learning.

Recently, H’s play has consisted of small world and role play. At two and a half, H started to show interest in small world play and would act out little scenes with her teddies. It would literally only last a minute or two but it was fascinating watching her process her world through play.  This kind of play has since developed and she now has entire back stories complete with different characters – often a mummy and a daddy and an H. Before I go any further, I feel like I need to mention that my kid (like most kids) can turn any object into a character. Blocks, pens, cutlery, and (most recently) milk bottle lids. I love that children are capable of conjuring up characters and props with what they have available – sticks for swords, a wooden block for a hairbrush, and a slipper for a Barbie car (that last one was my chosen mode of transport for my Barbie).

Some children may need a little help developing this skill and so you might like to provide a few bits to encourage their imagination. Puppets are an easy way of doing this and they’re also simple to make (mostly – unless you consider yourself a bit of a Gepetto then please by all means crack on). All you really need is a sock (if you don’t have one, please let me know and I will gladly post you one of the 753 odd socks we seem to have accumulated) and some googly eyes. You could even chuck some wool on top if you’re feeling fancy. Should you be fresh out of socks and my offer to provide you one doesn’t appeal to you, then wooden spoon puppets could be the way forward for you and your littles. All you need are wooden spoons (surprise!) and Sharpies and then get to drawing.

If you’re stuck for ideas for characters, use your child’s favourite fairytale or bedtime story. Nothing develops a child’s speech and language quite like retelling a story they have frequently heard. Lolly sticks are also great for this. You could make a morning out of your puppet-making. Depending on how creative you are feeling (or how much sleep you’ve had), you can make it as simple (sock and googly eyes) or complex (sequins, glue gun, beads, fairy dust) as you like.

We decided that because this type of play seems to be H’s favourite at the moment, it would be worth investing in a toy that would allow her to fully immerse herself in it and so we bought her a dollhouse. I very happily fell down a rabbit hole of different brands but I found my H’s dreamhouse in Tender Leaf Toys’ Foxtail Villa. It was love at first sight – the gorgeous painted details, the sturdy wooden features, and beautifully crafted accessories which aren’t fiddly and can easily be handled by little hands. While the construction of the house took about an hour, it was straightforward and the instructions clear and easy to understand.

My marriage has only been under threat twice – one incident involved rugby, and the other involved the construction of a bicycle which was nearly launched over the fence, so easy-to-understand and clear instructions are important to us.

The Tender Leaf figurines stand without trouble which is important when you have a threenager who gets frustrated when things don’t work the way they’re supposed to. I had so much fun setting up each of the three floors of the house and H had fun rearranging it all and making it hers. I’m not sure what my expectations were but I have so enjoyed watching her play with it – currently the house has been overrun by H’s other passion (dinosaurs) and a triceratops is currently rooming with Tender Leaf Girl. I can’t wait to see how H’s play changes as she gets older and what other guests she decides to introduce to her little family.

I’d love to know what this kind of play looks like in your house. How do you foster imaginative play? Let me know at @bornforblueskies.

Love,

Stace x 

Sleeplessness is a Battle

“Before sunrise, he’s your son”.

A line from The Lion King that hit a particular nerve this morning as I blinked through bleary eyes looking like a missing member of KISS with my panda eyes and forgotten eyeliner.  As new parents, we’ve all seen them. The memes about sleep deprivation:

• “The last time I slept well” above the sonogram picture
• The Tired Mums Club
• the video of the mum rocking the bouncer on the floor while she cradles her sleeping newborn in her arms

...and yet, we are so unprepared for it. While the memes are amusing and I feel like I can identify with all of them, at 3:43 in the morning, they don’t seem so cute. The reality of sleep deprivation is so much darker than social media and films would have us believing – there’s a reason why it’s used as a form of torture.

Sleep deprivation is so much more than falling asleep at your laptop or halfway (LOL. More like 5 minutes) into a film. Coffee is great but all it does is keeps your eyelids open…just. Don’t get me wrong, I love my morning brew and if I weren’t breastfeeding, I’d seriously consider dropping a small fortune on a fancy machine to feed my habit. But coffee simply keeps us ticking over – it’s survival juice.

What no one talks about is the way that sleep deprivation makes you mentally vulnerable. It strips us of our mental gatekeepers and leaves us vulnerable and susceptible to dark and negative thoughts. It also feeds the “Guilty Mum” cycle:

Sleep deprivation leads to impatience and being short-tempered which leads to being snappy which then leads to guilt which leads to negative thoughts which can lead to anxiety which can lead to sleep deprivation (seriously) and so the cycle goes.

If you’ve found yourself awake at 3:23am frantically Googling “why won’t my baby sleep” or “will I ever sleep again”, then you are not alone. So, from one caffeine-soaked, sleep-deprived parent to another, here are some of my survival tricks. I’m still not getting a full night’s sleep, but I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel so that’s something.

"Sleep when the baby sleeps” is harder than it sounds.

There needs to be a word that describes the sheer panic that is felt by parents when they are overwhelmed with what to do whilst baby sleeps. When H was just a nugget, I remember spending her entire 2 hour nap flitting from the laundry, to the sofa, to her, to the bathroom unable to decide on whether I should get things ticked off of my to-do list or try to sleep or shower. At the end of that nap, I had absolutely nothing to show for it and I remember feeling overwhelming frustration. I have found this to be one of the hardest parts of parenthood – compromising. It’s time to give up the plate-spinning business. For the sake of your mental health and your relationships, give it up. Be gentle with yourself. Remember that you can’t fill someone else’s cup, if yours is empty.

I can picture my husband’s face when he reads this. He has to remind me of these truths on a daily basis.

Some days you will write a short story, wash, dry, and fold 32 loads of laundry and make a cheese soufflé while baby naps and other days you will nap while baby naps. Both of those should be considered successes. Last Saturday, the big boys were home and baby J had woken at 6 which meant that he was ready for a nap at 8. We put a film on for the Big Js and H, put baby J down for a nap and then went for a nap ourselves. It felt scandalous and I loved it and I was a better parent for it.

Download an Audiobook

Weird one, I know, but in the early days when Baby J’s sleep pattern was anything but a pattern, an audiobook was my saving grace. Those early morning hours can be some of the loneliest hours and knowing that I had a good mystery book waiting for me, made the wake up marginally easier. Marginally. At first, I made the mistake of downloading something intellectual and ended up putting myself back to sleep. Coming to grips with the psychology of a toddler makes for fascinating listening during the day, but at 4:21am it’s doing nothing except ushering in the sandman. A crime novel kept me interested and there were times when Baby J had happily gone back to sleep and I was still sat there trying to solve the case.

Download “Precious Little Sleep” on your phone or device so that you can refer to it at all hours. This book saved my life and the lives of my babies. I can’t recommend it enough.

Technology and Tricks

You know the sleep tricks already. Dark room, white noise, routine, swaddling…these methods are recommended for a reason. They may not all work for you but they’re honestly worth a try. Plus, technology these days has made life so much easier. The amazing SNOO Bassinet does pretty much everything except feed your offspring but I’m sure, given some time, that’ll be a feature in the future.

We’ve found white noise to be a winner with Baby J which is easily sorted on Spotify or the Alexa but if you don’t want your entire shuffle playlist completely monopolised by rainbow sounds, then a Moonie Humming Friend is the one for you. If you have yourself a little sprog who falls asleep beautifully if they’re being pushed in the pushchair or bounced or patted but you’re at a point where you’re just 7 pushes away from producing The Rock-style biceps, then it may be time to look into purchasing a Rockit portable rocker. This little bad boy attaches to the pushchair and keeps rocking long after your arms have stopped. There’s a reason why this little gadget has won awards.

If you ever find yourself awake at 4:33am and you can hear the birds start chirping (which can be one of the most depressing sounds ever when it starts to dawn on you that the day is just about to start and you’ve had 28 minutes sleep and you’re wondering how on Earth you’re going to make it through the day let alone be the fun and energetic parent you thought you’d be) just know that you’re not alone. Drop me a message on Instagram. Chances are good, I’ll be awake too and we can be lonely and sleep deprived together. No matter how bad it gets, I promise it does get better. You will find yourself trying to unlock the house door with your phone and you’ll find your sunglasses in the fridge, but I promise it’ll get better.